Out of Step Jew

I am not sure if you can read YNET from abroad, but those of you who can read it should take a look at this article.

apparently, a certain Rabbi Batzri was summoned to one of the military bases at Tel-Hashomer in order to perform a Jewish equivalent of an exorcism. Apparantly, four people have died in accidents at the tank maintenance base over the last six months and the feeling was that instead of checking on safety there they would have Rabbi Batzri, other rabbis and 200 officers and soldiers blow 100 shofars in order to get rid of the "curse".

Next stop ... the Knesset.
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This past Sunday, my oldest son, who is in the midst of a medics course in the army was taken, along with the other soldiers in the course to the Diaspora Museum (Beit Hatfutzot). Part of the day was dedicated to a lecture and discussion on "Jewish identity".

As part of the discussion my son pointed out that Israelis are not as welcoming to new olim (immigrants) as they ought to be. In response, some of the other soldiers stated that in these hard economic times, we shouldn't be taking in new immigrants.

Wow! Israelis have for a long time never been known as the most welcoming of people but they always accepted their responsibility for "kibbutz galuyot" – ingathering of the exiles. Clearly, the first commandment of Zionism is "aliya". Clearly, many of the boys in the course were not raised as Zionists.

We are not talking about the divisive issues dealing with the Palestinian conflict or even religion and state – but Israel as home to the Jewish people. There has been a movement of late to try to get Israel to be a state that serves its current citizens instead of a republic that is dedicated to serving a larger cause – in this case, the cause of the Jewish people. It seems that to a certain extent they have succeeded.

To be fair, most of my son's friends are Zionists and care deeply about their fellow Jews. Religious and non-religious, these kids are dedicated to making Israel a Jewish state. But after years of killing one sacred cow of Zionism after another, many of our best and brightest are being raised with neither a Jewish nor a Zionist creed. What could it possibly mean to be an Israeli nationalist or an Israeli patriot without the ethos of Zionism and the tradition of Judaism?

The early Zionists were wrong to think they could create a 'new Jew' and they realized it when their sons and daughters turned out to be ignorant of the most basic Jewish texts, history and tradition. And their children, Zionists all, even though ignorant of Judaism, thought that they could raise good Israelis without the Zionist ethos and education that they received from their parents.

There will either be a counter-revolution by the next generation and a return to a Jewish and Zionist ethos or we will have a harder time finding the future paratroopers necessary to fight the inevitable wars that we are sure to face – for in "every generation they stand up against us to destroy us …".
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Ha'aretz has a book review written by Alan Nadler of "Physician of the Soul, Healer of the Cosmos: Isaac Luria and his Kabbalistic Fellowship" by Lawrence Fine.

The review makes for disturbing reading for those who still feel that Lurainc kabbalism has a lot to teach us in these post-modern times. The practices that the AR"I and his coterie practiced in an attempt to bring personal tikkun and universal redemption are painfully embarrassing - but not new to those who have read Gershom Scholem's "Shabbtai Sevi".

But being one of the most influential figures in Jewish intellectual history amongst the serious scholars and weekend mystics both - a critical biography is most welcome.
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With Pesach cleaning in full gear I am reminded how my mother used to say that if she listened to my (rabbi) father's instructions on what to clean and not clean the house would never be kosher for Pesach.

The annual argument in this home has to do with the books. Since dust has not yet been declared chametz my feeling is to letting sitting books lie. However, the last argument I won was way back in the 1970's – in other words before I was married. So, this morning's chore was to clean the bookcases.

I took advantage of the situation to reorganize our "library" and re-divide the books into sections such as general philosophy, Jewish philosophy, history, Tanach etc. And then there is the "why do I own this so move this crap to the back of the apartment" section which next year will become the "get these things in the garbage (or geniza) section".

In the past those were very difficult tasks – that is why it’s a two stage effort that takes a year to complete. For a good Jew to throw books out is to be part of the anti-Semitic practices of days gone by (like yesterday). Besides, don't all books have value?

Now though …. out with Trotsky's "On the Chinese Revolution" and "The Revolution Betrayed", out with "Education and the Taming of Power", out "Writing and Rewriting the Holocaust". (Throwing out books with Holocaust in the title?! Oy …. that is difficult.)

But, the empty shelf space needs to be filled. The Out of Step wife bought me an early afikoman present (Daniel Sperber's "Minhagei Yisrael") and that helped a bit - but there is still plenty of space left to fill. And we need to move quickly before they are filled with picture frames.
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For the second time in about 200 years Lubavitch was rebuked in Lithuania.

The Forward is reporting on a power struggle amongst the Jews of Lithuania in which an Israeli rabbi who had been serving the community of St. Petersburg was voted by the Jewish community to be the Chief Rabbi of their country over a Lubavitch rabbi. Even the Israeli Chief Rabbi was involved.

A bit of chutzpa don't you think for hasidim to claim the right to represent Lithuanian Jewry?

In any event, this does prove the fact that not only don't you need Jews for there to be antisemitism, but you don't even need (too many) Jews for there to be a Jewish power struggle.
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There is an interesting albeit libelous article in the Ha'aretz magazine of this past Friday on the Russian language press in Israel. It tells more of the writer of the story, the editors of Ha'aretz magazine and the Israeli establishment than it does about the Russian language press.

There are three distinct establishments that oppose the rise of the Russian immigrants in Israel: The religious establishment, the Sephardi (Shas) establishment and the intellectual establishment. The Sephardim, under the leadership of R. Ovadia Yosef have been the most overtly racist in attacking the immigrants. Much like the antagonism between the African-Americans and the Asians in the US, the Shas-niks oppose the progress and the power attained by people not them.

On the religious side, for some reason instead of welcoming the survivors of atheist Communism with open arms, from the start the Israeli religious establishment has tried to make the life of the new immigrants as difficult as possible. Since many of them were not halakhically Jewish (although in Russia they were raised as Jews), they needed to face the wrath of a jealous Chief Rabbinate rather than an open armed brother.

But it is the Israeli intelligentsia that has been most vociferous in their attempt to de-legitimize the new citizens. Since nearly 100% of the immigrants were anti-Socialist (I wonder why?), they came with the scarlet letter already on their foreheads. When it became known that most of the immigrant community (and Natan Sharansky amongst them) were to the right of center when it came to "peace" politics, that was the last straw.

And so – if you read the article you will read of the "fascist" Russian language newspapers and how they don't give any coverage to left-wing views.

But if you read it a bit deeper you will read of a fearful establishment that that intellectually, culturally – even spiritually is the inferior of the new-comers. You will read of a group of people who survived the hell of Communism smarter and more experienced than the old-boys network(s) that have formed here over the last 60 years.

And if you visit this country in twenty years time you will see how the not so new Russian immigrants have remade the country in their image. Hopefully, you will see a more polite, more cultured, more spiritual and a more tolerant place.

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I am repeating a call I made last week to help feed the poor of Kfar Saba by donating Maot Chitin.

In my town of Kfar Saba there is an organization called "Hazan et Hakol" – named for the first blessing of the Grace after Meals. This organization feeds over 400 needy families a week – including cooking chicken for 100 of them.

Every Thrusday night men, women and children gather and make up boxes of food that includes chicken, fresh fruit and vegetables, staples like rice, flour and sugar. On Friday, volunteers make the deliveries straight to the homes.

Hazan Et Hakol is 100% volunteer. ALL the money raised goes to buying food for the poor of Kfar Saba. There are NO overhead expenses at all. The room used for organizing the packages is donated by a local synagogue and all workers are volunteers. Even the costs of transporting the food is covered by the volunteers.

By giving money to Hazan et Hakol you will know that all of the money sent will go towards buying food for the poor. You will also fulfill the mitzvah of Maot Chitin completing the mitzvah of eating matza on the Seder night.

I don't ever make money appeals here – but there is a real need now for money for this wonderful organization. They have tripled the number of families they service over the last 18 months and Pesach requires additional funds.

Please send a check made out to: Hazan et Hakol, to:
Uzi Maryliss
21 Hagalil Street
Kfar Saba, Israel

Thank you again.

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This past Friday's Jerusalem Post dedicated a few articles and an editorial to the subject of separation of religion and state. The story behind the story was the Knesset's rejection of a civil marriage law that would have ended the Chief Rabbinate's monopoly over marriage in Israel.

Unfortunately only the editorial is online (at least I was not able to find the other articles) but the issue was covered well and their basic conclusion was in favor of civil marriages and an end to the provision by the state of "religious services". As the articles go on to mention, a good part of the problem is not necessarily the ideological opposition of the religious parties but rather the jobs that the religious councils and courts provide to constituents of these parties.

And therein lays the problem - not only with the religious bodies but with the entire leftover socialist infrastructure that still assumes that all services must be provided for by the state. The question that the Post failed to ask is how we Israeli citizens are supposed to pay for these services while our taxes are so high.

This is not meant to be an economics blog but the question that Shinui, Meretz and others (including me) who support the separation of religion and state must ask is how are we to build synagogues, mikvaot and other establishments when our tax rate hovers around 60% and nearly all the land in the country is owned by the government ?!

I am adamant about getting the government out of the hands of religion – not necessarily for the sake of the radical secularists that we have here in abundance, but for the sake of Torah. Judaism will only have an opportunity to thrive here amongst the general population if there is some competition. That is something the religious parties either don't understand or don't want to understand.

What the secular parties have yet to understand is that the privatization of religious services can only come along with a more general government privatization You can't tell me that I must now buy private land to build a synagogue because there is strict separation of religion and state - yet have nearly all the land in nearly all communities owned by the government.

As for civil marriage – well, yes something must be done. Personally, I would first reform the conversion process to allow the approximately 300,000 Russian immigrants to become halakhic Jews if they so desire. Most of them thought they were Jews while in Russia and would welcome a more welcoming greeting by the rabbis.

Next, the time has come to have a national roll of those permitted to perform marriage ceremonies. We need first to end the power of local Chief Rabbis who limit the number of rabbis they permit to perform marriages for economic and ideological reasons. Finally, for those who adamantly want a wedding empty of religious meaning – well, let them go find a lawyer turned judge to "sanctify" their relationship in the "eyes of the state".
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In a continuation of our effort to clarify the Jewish Political Tradition (eventhough our attempt to get a discussion going didn't quite take off) I would like to continue our efforts to discuss "Consent" in Jewish political culture as well as freedom.

Towards that end, I would like to point out an essay written by R. Nachum Rabinovitch entitled "The Way of Torah". This lengthy essay was originally written in Hebrew and was later expanded into a book.
The English translation of the original essay was published by the Edah Journal in their Tevet 5763 issue.

R. Rabinovitch is the Rosh Yeshiva of the Yeshivat Hesder in Ma'ale Adumim - holds a doctorate and learned at Ner Israel in Baltimore.
He is in editing a critical edition and commentary of Miamonides' Mishneh Torah, called Yad Peshutah.

R. Rabinvoitch concentrates on the individual as a creature of "Tzelem Elohim". The individual received his free choice as a gift of God and can reach Judaism's highest values of serving God only with this freedom.

In the abstract it states that: "Some Torah laws are given in accordance with minimal standards, some for study alone and some for the realization of moral and spiritual ideals."

Finally: "... legitimate government authority is based on theconsent of the community, and has no jurisdiction over religious matters. It is therefore barred by halakhah from legislating and coercing religious standards."

As we approach Pesach - this essay will help us understand the concept of freedom - for a community and for individuals.
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Strange people we Jews. Just as the taboo against eating shellfish and pork has been shattered in the Jewish state, the Reform movement in the United States is considering adapting Kashrut standards.

The Forward has an article based on the current edition of the CCAR journal which has five articles on kashrut. Admittedly, some in the reform movement seem to speak of "eco-Kashrut" and of adding other politically correct prohibitions to those currently observed by traditional Jews, but in general there seems to be a real desire amongst many in the movement to keep kosher.

This is an interesting commentary on the sociology of Reform Judaism - but more generally on the sociology of religion in free countries.

For me, part of the beauty of a Jewish country is the general almost nonchalant acceptance of things Jewish in our everyday lives, even by those who are not observant. The empty roads on Yom Kippur, the children dressed up on Purim, the closed bakeries on Pesach and even the flower stands on Tu B'av lend a Jewish beauty to the country.

Alas, some of these practices have started to wane. The taboo of not selling bread in public on Pesach has long gone (and with it, the storing of pita in the freezer – a twist on our age old Diaspora practice of freezing gallons and gallons of milk for Pesach). Pork products are sold in the middle of the city now (the main pork supplier Mizra, sells chulent on Fridays!!) and it is terribly unfair to blame the Russian aliya on these unfortunate practices.

Yet, you really have to wonder, how far the Jews of Israel would have gone in shedding their most treasured traditions had their been no established religion in the country. A Jewish state without an established religion? Possibly.

I am not sure if the level of religious observance in Israel would be greater or not, the recent trends in Reform Judaism should give us food for thought.
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Being more accustomed to terror attacks than I would like, my first thoughts after the Madrid horror last week were of anger, revulsion and strength. Anger at the murderous nihilism of Islamic fundamentalism, revulsion at the acts of savagery perpetrated on the Spanish people and a sense of strength, that unfortunately another people have by force, come to recognize the evil that must be fought.

I try not to write about politics, but the war on terror is a moral and religious war – a moral war for the centrality of man in the world and a religious war for the soul of monotheism.

All of the monotheistic religions have gone through times of bloodshed for the sake of the Truth that belief in One God brings. You can't read the Book of Judges without wondering how so few people killed so many without the 'benefit' of modern armaments. The Crusades for the Christians, the early spread of Islam by the Moslems – bloody all. Yet, in spite of the fundamentalisms that are common to all monotheistic faiths, the contemporary Jewish and Christian world has managed to marginalize attempts to merge fundamentalism with violence.

Yet, the Spanish have disappointed. They don't seem to understand that you can argue about the tactics of the war on terror only after recognizing that there is a war on terror. The Spanish did not get attacked because of 1,300 troops in Iraq any more than my neighbors get attacked because the Palestinians live in poverty, or any more than the World Trade Center got destroyed because of some action by the United States.

All of these attacks happened because a certain group of Moslems feel that the world will only be livable when Judaism, Christianity and the western philosophical and scientific tradition are either destroyed or subjugated under a global Islamic state.

It all started nearly 40 years ago, when Yasir Arafat started his policy of terror against Jews. The world not only was silent in the face of such horror, they encouraged Arafat in his fight against the Jews. But now, even as Europeans are experiencing similar horrors, they can't bring themselves to recognize that they can't appease the terrorists with a different foreign policy so long as they continue to study in Universities and go to the beach on the weekend.

The Spanish were now given a wake up call and shown first hand what terror is – and what did they do but act in the most cowardly fashion and throw out the government that "brought them the terror".

We often wonder how after the seeing and experiencing the miracles of the parting of the Red Sea and revelation of God at Sinai, how the young Israelite people acted against God – not trusting in His ways? Its one thing to be an unbeliever on the evidence of someone else but to be an unbeliever after seeing with your own eyes?

Cowardice has been with us for millennia, the Spanish people showed that yesterday.
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The Hagaddah "Siach Ha'Grid" quotes the Ramah as stating "with (the laws of Matza on Pesach) there is a law of Tzedakah of 'maot chitin'."
The hint is clear that in order to completely fulfill the mitzvah of eating matza on the seder night you first must give a special tzedakah that allows the poor to buy matza for the seder.

That is one of the reasons why many give for introducing the Hagaddah with the paragraph of "Ha Lachma Anya" which invites the poor in to share the seder with us.

In my town of Kfar Saba there is an organization called "Hazan et Hakol" – named for the first blessing of the Grace after Meals. This organization feeds over 400 needy families a week – including cooking chicken for 100 of them.

Every Thrusday night men, women and children gather and make up boxes of food that includes chicken, fresh fruit and vegetables, staples like rice, flour and sugar. On Friday, volunteers make the deliveries straight to the homes.

Hazan Et Hakol is 100% volunteer. ALL the money raised goes to buying food for the poor of Kfar Saba. There are NO overhead expenses at all. The room used for organizing the packages is donated by a local synagogue and all workers are volunteers. Even the costs of transporting the food is covered by the volunteers.

By giving money to Hazan et Hakol you will know that all of the money sent will go towards buying food for the poor. You will also fulfill the mitzvah of Maot Chitin completing the mitzvah of eating matza on the Seder night.

I don't ever make money appeals here – but there is a real need now for money for this wonderful organization. They have tripled the number of families they service over the last 18 months and Pesach requires additional funds.

Please send a check made out to: Hazan et Hakol, to:
Uzi Maryliss
21 Hagalil Street
Kfar Saba, Israel

Thank you again.

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A few weeks ago I had one of those great "Israel experiences". Most of us American expats or olim (me included) sit here and whine away about the problems with the country and the behavior of the Israelis. You have all heard it before and there is no need to repeat it again.

However, on February 26 let it be said that I had a great time, all the while playing the "cool dad".

I took my (almost) 16 year old son and two of his friends to the Tel-Aviv Jazz and Blues Festival to hear a most amazing band – "3 Cohen's Sextet". It was a littleembarrassingg for him, but that is the price you have to pay sometimes - besides I was sitting on the opposite end of the theatre.

The three Cohen's are Avishai Cohen (Trumpet), Anat Cohen (sax) and Yuval Cohen (sax) – two brothers and a sister who write and play beautiful Jazz.

Not being a music critic I couldn't analyze the originality of their compositions or the actual quality of their playing. I do know that Avishai is well known in the NY Jazz scene and has a number of albums (do they still call them that?) out. They have also released one together called "3 Cohen's Sextet" - but I am not sure where it is available.

But, what a pleasure it was to see and hear them. The theatre in the Tel-Aviv Cinemateque was small (about 130 seats) and the atmosphere wonderful. They played with such joy, energy and modesty that, in spite of the 10:45pm start time (what kind of father takes his kids out that late ? after nearly nine years here, I am officially an Israeli father) the show ended with everyone wanting more.

And yes, they played with modesty. It is a trait missing in much of the music and arts world these days, but it is an endearing trait – making the whole evening more pleasant.

And it was SO Jewish and Israeli. Yuval wrote a song based on a Leah Goldberg children's poem, there was a piece dedicated to one of the Cohen's commander in the army – and who was in the audience, but Imma and Abba?

They were happy to be playing and we were all happy to be listening. If they play in the US or Europe go and see them. You will have an opportunity to listen to six great young musicians play wonderful music. If you are Jewish, it will also make you proud to be a Jew.
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I just finished a short but fabulous book in Hebrew by Haym Soloveitchik- called "Yenam" or "Principles and Pressures: Jewish Trade in Gentile Wine in the Middle Ages".

The book is about the struggle of two of the most prominent of the Tosaphists, Rabbenu Ya'akov Tam (Rabbenu Tam) and Rabbi Yitzhcak of Dampierre (R"I) to find a justification for a practice of French and German Jewry regarding the handling of wine.

At first glance the book might appear boring, but it is nothing of the sort. Written in a wonderful literary Hebrew, Soloveitchik tells a story of a community and of its rabbis. Essentially, the plot of the story revolves around one Tosaphot (commentary of the Tosaphists) from the Tractate Avoda Zarah (57b "La'Afukei). The story tells of the valiant efforts of two of the geniuses of medieval Ashkenazic Jewry to find a "heter" (allowance) for a practice that was apparently against the halacha.

Subplots include the valiant efforts of the community to follow the customs of their parents, the place of "taboo" in religious practice and the "law of unintended consequences" that followed Ashkenazi Jewry down through the ages.

Mostly though – it is a love story. A love story about two rabbis (Rabbenu Tam and R"I) and the community they served. A story of two brilliant men who felt it their duty and honor to serve their community and by doing that, to serve God.

We in the modern-Orthodox community often have to look the other way when we are accused of being "unauthentic" – especially in comparison to the Haredi communities who seem stuck in 19th century Europe.

When it comes to "authenticity" though, this brilliant work by H. Soloveitchik shows exactly how inauthentic the Haredi community is. When else in the history of Judaism have the main constituency of the leading rabbis been men who sit in Yeshivot? Been men who have no real connection to the contemporary world?

Authenticity? I don't really like that word, but let's not sell ourselves short.
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A few years ago I had the honor of meeting a Japanese scholar of Judaism. He had researched much of Persian Jewry and was especially interested in the whole Purim story. He was sure that Mordecai and Esther's letter mentioned at the end of the Megillah had made it to Japan.

Recently he uncovered some fascinating documents in the famous Tokyo Geniza proving his thesis. It seems that not only did this mysterious letter reach Japan, but a group of Jewish literary artists settled in that far off land and tried to communicate the Jewish culture and religion to the Japanese people.

They tried to do this through poetry – and although the haiku poetry form is traditionally known to have started in the 14th or 15th century, it seems that it was created centuries earlier – and by Jews. As proof of that, we bring you today Purim themed haiku found in hand-written documents by the said Japanese scholar.

The poems are divided into three themes: Megillat Esther, Mishloach Manot and the Seuda or Purim meal. Clearly, the haiku poems about the Megillah are just a fragment of what was originally written. Probably, the entire Megillah was written in Haiku.

So …. Here for the first time, ancient Jewish-Japanese Haiku poems - proof once again that all great things are by definition Jewish in origin.

Purim Haiku, from the Tokyo Geniza

Meggilah

On a binge for weeks
Wine, women, song, lots of food
Time for Jews to fast.

Vashti did not come
Now we'll teach her a lesson.
Who got the green wife?

The king killed his wife
Go find all the best virgins
Good to be the king!!

Haman's wife hates Jews
Hanging time for Mordecai
Jews in royal robes.


Mishloach Manot & Other

Preparing the plates
Fruit, candy, Haman Tashen
Crumbly ones for us.

Eating the manot
There's Haman Tashen galore
Gave away the best.

Divide the candy
Chocolate, gum, sticky stuff
Dentist's new Hummer.

The children dress up
Queens, cowboys, scary witches
And dad wears a wig?


Seuda

Second reading over
Headache from shooting Haman
Time for single malt.

Sitting down to eat
Let's start with hearty soup
Now Irish whisky!

Time for the man's course
Potatoes, meat and some beans
And white wine spritzers??!!

Dessert time is here
Cakes, pies and sweet wine
Four weeks 'till Pesach.

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About fifteen years ago when on vacation with my wife and (then) two sons to Cooperstown, NY we came across a family of dairy farmers, Mary and John Smith. The Smiths were originally from Iowa and they came a few years before to run a dairy farm and minister to a Protestant congregation in the area.

We were there to visit the Baseball Hall of Fame and spend some time on Lake Otsego (the Aaslmeer Motel is highly recommended). We wanted to show our boys a dairy farm and how it works, and stopped by. The Smith's welcomed us with open arms, adored our children and when we left they gave us a copy of the New Testament. Inside the book were some old sheets of paper with songs written on them.

When we asked them about it they told us how on a cold winter night in February of 1959, they witnessed a flash on the horizon that turned out to be the tragic plane crash which killed Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and the "Big Bopper". The next morning they found some loose sheets of paper, in the handwriting of Buddy Holly – and on these pages were alternate lyrics to two of Buddy Holly's best hits – "Rave On" and "Oh Boy!". And if you read the words clearly, you can see how prophetic they were – as if they were written yesterday.

They kept those lyrics secret and swore me to fifteen years of secrecy. The reason is – they prove once and for all that Buddy Holly was Jewish – proving again, that everything great is by definition Jewish. And to think that before that day, I doubted my rabbi's words. Chatati.

Ending my 15 years of sworn silence, the Out of Step Jew has the honor to present the words that may actually have been written "the day the music died".


Oh (Yeshiva) Boy!

All of your prayin'
All of your learnin'
We all know you ain't been earnin'

A dime, when you sit still
A dime, the world's a thrill
And you, won't pay, the bill.

All of your life
You've been dreamin'
Tonight they'll be no late shiurim

Oh boy, come with me
Oh boy, I know you'll agree
That you need, a babe, or three.

Stars appear, rockets are fallin'
It don't matter that your rebbe's a callin'
A little bit of lovin' makes everything right
Your finally gonna see some sinnin' tonight.

All of your life
You've been dreamin'
Tonight they'll be no late shiurim

Oh boy, come with me
Oh boy, I know you'll agree
That you need, a babe, or three.



Rave On (Momma)

The little things you make me do
Filled with guilt, lets be true,
Momma, stop that crying
You know, that painful sighing
Before you say - "don't mind me" –

The way you talk behind our backs
About my wife and what she lacks
Momma, stop that crying
You know, that painful sighing
Before you say- "don't mind me" -

Well momma – we know your power
We all know it makes God cower
I'm so glad, that you'll be cooking, just for me.
Momma -they can't resist you
The rabbis they melt before you
The daughters, they're all below you
Please cook for me.

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When music scholars were going through the papers of the late George and Ira Gershwin and Du Bose Hayward, they found the original libretto for their opera about the black experience in America, "Porgy and Bess". The opera was originally supposed to be about Judaism and Out of Step Jew has an exclusive on two of these masterpieces. Interestingly, it was Hayward, who scholars think penned most of the lyrics you are about to read for the first time.


Purimtime

Purimtime, and the Jews are so happy,
Haman is hangin' with his sons right behind.
Oh, yo' Rebbe's drunk and yo' mama's still cookin'
Just sit on your rump, you don't pay them no mind.

One of these mornin's the minyan won't need ya,
You'll spread yo' wings but drop back into bed.
But 'till that mornin', the guilt will eat at ya,
With your Rebbe and mama, standin' over your head.


It Ain't Necessarily So

It ain't necessarily so
It ain't necessarily so
The new chumras they preach ya
That they try to teach ya
It ain't necessarily so

Little Rochele's skirt was too short, oh my
Little Rochele's skirt was too short, oh my!
She wore pants under
But that caused more thunder
Little Rochele's skirt was too short, oh my

Was that a bug in my lettuce, oh no?
Was that a bug in my lettuce, oh no?
I used to enjoy my crunchin'
But the rabbi's ruined my munchin'
Was that a bug in my lettuce, oh no?

It ain't necessarily so
It ain't necessarily so
The new chumras they preach ya
That they try to teach ya
It ain't necessarily so

Sarah and Leah learn gemara, oh my!
Sarah and Leah learn gemara, oh my!
That daf in Kedushin
Will make them pritzim,
Sarah and Leah learn gemara, oh my!!!

The mechitza is too low, oy gevalt!
The mechitza is too low, oy gevalt!
Now the poor boys can't talk football
Drink schnapps or scheme a windfall
The mechitza is too low, oy gevalt!

It ain't necessarily so
It ain't necessarily so
The new chumras they preach ya
That they try to teach ya
It ain't necessarily so

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